She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
