just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
