Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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