Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
