So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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