just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
