she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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