Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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