Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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