Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I did not marry a roomba.
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