Do you still have your period?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Houston, we have a blender
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
