Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?