Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.