I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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