hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
