we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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