You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
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She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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