You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
