I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
