you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
