no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We left the knife in your bed.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
