i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
