He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
