Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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