i wish my penis had a tongue
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
