wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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