It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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