I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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