kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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