He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
