No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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