I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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