If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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