her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I want to be your penis for a week.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
