READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
