dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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