I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
