I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
