Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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