Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
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He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
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I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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