I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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