my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
