oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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