I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
