people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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