Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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