my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
