Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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