Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Randomize
