If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
