either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i now understand why vodka
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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