And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
