Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
