What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
