Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
