I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Watching her eat just hurts me
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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