I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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