I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
