i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
