508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
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Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
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to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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