So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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