i wish my penis had a tongue
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
