dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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