i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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