If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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