Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize